Sunday, July 4, 2010

Undateable

VH1 has a show called Undateable. They list 100 reasons why some men are undateable and there is also a book about it. The show was entertaining but I missed the first 20 so I looked for the list online and posted it below. Full disclosure Im guilty of well over 50 of these things but I know I havent done all 100 so that gives me hope. I dont think people in the south say Cunt so I know I havent used that word before. My first time hearing it was a movie.

Mel Gibson used the Cunt in his latest racist and sexist rant. Mel called his baby mama a "pig" and a "cunt" because of her greed for money and the way she dressed. Mel topped of the rant by telling her he hopes she gets raped by a "pack of n*ggers". I knew Mel getting a 40 year old russian woman was a mistake because she isnt a young 20 year old trying to party anymore she is an old woman who wants financial security and no games. Mel is too old to be falling for game like that but he did now he wants to call her names and be a racist. Mels career may be over after this but he has so much money he doesnt care. Danny Glover is the person most of us want to hear a reply from now but it wont shock me if Danny takes up for Mel. Danny is friends with Fidel Castro adn Hugo Chavez so Danny is used to having to defend wild things his friends say and do.

Chris Simms ,the son of the legendary Giants quarterback Phil Simms, was arrested on suspicion of driving while stoned. Chris was driving his wife ,in New York, who is 8 months pregnant and 2 other people. Jeff Fisher has lost control of this team but no one wants to say that. I can remember growing up and the Dallas Cowboys would get in off the field trouble but they won 3 super bowls with that team. Maybe the Titans will do the same thing but this team isnt as talented as that Cowboys team. Chris Johnson and Courtland Finnegan are the only players on the team who could start for any team at their position. The rest of the players are average to below average but I want them to crossover and become stars on the field especially Vince Young.

100. Man Shakes
99. Blue Tooth
98. Wrong Sheets
97. Mandanas
96. Tanks & Sleeveless Ts
95. Arm Wrestling In Public
94. “The Blank –STER”
93. Vanity Plates
92. Quoting Lines From Movies
91. Unfortunate Ties
90. Cell Phone On The Waist
89. Sports Cliches
88. The Flatulence Trifecta
87. Ordering Wine @ Stadium
86. Online TMI
85. Pleated Pants
84. Embellished Jeans
83. Rearrange Junk / Butt Pick
82. Sports Jerseys
81. Dirty Car
80. Aggressive Sport Fans
79. Murse
78. Whining
77. Jorts & Japris
76. Air Guitar
75. *****
74. Fake Swearing
73. Hawaiian Shirts
72. Overly Creative Voice Mail
71 Names For Breast
70. Listening To Lite FM
69. Skullwear
68. Speaking In Cartoon Voice
67. Can’t Throw Ball
66. Pet Names for Penis
65. Crocs
64. Pitted Out Shirts
63. Booya
62. Tap That / Hit That
61. Playing Dungeons & Dragons
60. Going Shirtless In Public
59. Owning Nunchucks
58. Bling
57. Stupid Tees
56. Bad Dancing
55. Busting Out Porn Too Soon
54. Biker Shorts
53. Talking About Video Games
52. Bro-Code
51. “Moist”
50. Leather Pants
49. Crotch Grab
48. Holiday Sweaters
47. Bad Table Manners
46. Cut Off Shorts
45. Penis Enlargement
44. Frequenting Gun Range
43. Tacky Texting
42. Chain Wallet
41. Getting Drunk On a Plane
40. Disturbing Laugh
39. Lame Pick Lines
38. Open-Mouth Breathing
37. Excessive Ed Hardy
36. Burping Loudly & Proudly
35. Owning A Van
34. Baby Talk
33. Dad Jeans
32. Hairy Back, Neck & Nose
31. Eminem-Speak
30. Wimpy Drinker
29. Double Demin
28. Bicep & Calf Implants
27. The Pregnant Man
26. Speedos
25. Bad Driver (Sissy/Rage)
24. Attending Geek Conventions
23. Talking in Third Person
22. Riding A Contraption
21. Moobs
20. Guy Lights
19. Bringing glove to a game
18. Tighty Whities
17. Bad Facial Hair
16. Gross Nails
15. Not paying on a first date
14. Dirty Hair
13. Fur Coats
12. Bald Denial
11. Steroids
10. Creepily into mom
9. Excessive Manscaping
8. Hock a Loogie & Snot Rockets
7. Mandals with Socks
6. The "V" Gesture
5. Bustin' a Sag
4. Plastic Surgery
3. Chewing Tobacco
2. Talking About Your Ex
1. The "C" Word